Waluigi's Illegal Sex Dungeon
by SalamiNips
Summary: Waluigi and Gene from the hit classic film 'The Emoji Movie' invite/coerce characters from various media into their basement and do weird shit.
1. Chapter 1: Fruity Reunion

CHAPTER 1: Humble Beginnings 

It was a day like any other, Waluigi was relaxing at the local tropical smoothie cafe, Toad's Fruity Sauce for three straight hours after buying one $2.30 slushee. He was very hairy and in his prime, long and skinny (in both respects). He took up as much space as possible and aired out his musk to all the other patrons in the shop. He would often sniff the atmosphere around him and admire his own scent.

It was an average, mundane day. That is until Waluigi saw his old friend walk through the door. It was Gene, from _The Emoji Movie_ ™! Waluigi hadn't seen him in ages! "Didn't he move to the Carribean?" Waluigi thought to himself. Gene noticed Waluigi in the corner of the room, the furthest from anyone. Either this Waluigi's choice or the affect his musk had on people; too hot to handle all at once. The round yellow fucker's eyes widened and he all but ran to Waluigi's table.

"Waluigi! It's so good to see you again!" said Gene. "How have you been these past few years?"

Waluigi answered in his shrill voice, "WAH good! I really cleaned my life up and got a steady job selling vacuum cleaners, then I amassed a small fortune after investing in Shroomcoin before the bubble so I don't have to work so since you wont see me going to work in this story and that way i can afford to pay for my house withour doing anything and thats why"

"Aw shit nice." Answered Gene cooly, because he was an emoji and emojis are cool. "After making a living off of royalties form my self help books I moved to the tropics but that got boring so I came back here for a short while. How do you keep yourself busy?"

"I have an illegal sex dungeon." responded Waluigi. Waluigi was either in his sex dungeon or spying up the lil boi pussy over in the playground at the middle school next to the cafe.

Gene was instantly aroused, wanting nothing more than for Waluigi to fill his slutty yellow sellout holes with his long skinny purple penis. "WOW!" Gene exclaimed "I've always been curious about sex dungons! Could you show me?"

An ear to ear grin appeared on Waluigi's face. He had been wanting to stuff that curvy round little bitch since they met. "Sure thing! Let me get the keys to my van and we'll be on our way." He reached into his pants and pulled his keys out from his crotch. The key's teeth yanked and pulled at his greasy black pubes, never shaved since they started growing on him at the ripe old age of eight. Waluigi essentially had a dick afro. As he lifted the keys into the air outside his tight black overalls the musky, manly smell of unwashed man penis creeped into the air and the entire cafe was filled with his scent. The patrons eyes widened, some gagged from excitement, not disgust they were excited shit the fuck up Karen dick smell is sexy not gross its manly why do women always find me gross im a cool guy i write sexy stories see? fuck

They both got into the van and tore out of the parking lot, scraping a parked car in the process. Gene sucked Waluigi's dick head through the end of his pant leg, because it was so long that it Waluigi would often have to tuck it into his sock. The two could barely contain their excitement for what was to come.


	2. Chapter 2: Emoji Lovin'

CHAPTER 2: EMOJI LOVIN'

All of Waluigi's neighbors were doing boring things, like spending time with their family and enjoying the nice spring weather. Little did they know, only a few feet underground time stood still. Waluigi and Gene were free to act out their most repressed desires uninterrupted.

"YES! Fuck my tight round yellow boy pussy with your garden hose!" Gene screamed in both pain and ecstacy as Waluigi pounded into him like a yoga instructor who mainly focuses on hips and core exercise but still does other stuff because it's important to have balance in your workout routine, who was also on speed. Gene was suspended from the ceiling and posed like superman. His yellow wrinkly ass cheeks were oiled up so that Waluigi could see his face in the reflection. Waluigi, grunting and sweaty snapped out of his anus induced trance when he remembered something important: "WAH! My casserole!"

Waluigi pulled out of Gene, making him swing back and forth, and ran up the stairs as fast as he could. But the air and momentum hitting his penis made him cum like a fire hydrant as he ran up the steps, leaving a trail of sour cream up to the kitchen. He grabbed the casserole out of the oven (he already has gloves on so his hands are fine) and then spun around and jolted back down the steps, casserole in hand. The steps were like a slip and slide, only they werent straight and instead of water there was semen. He slipped on fell to the bottom, followed by a sharp pain in his most prized area. He got up and looked down in horror as his penis was broken and now matched the symbol on his hat, which never came off.

"WAH! My-a dick!" Screamed Waluigi. His vision became blurry and he feinted on the cold hard basement floor. Gene noticed Waluigi's misfortune and managed to slip out of his restraints and go to his lover's aide.

"Oh no! Don't worry, Waluigi. I leanred this trick in Tijuana!" Gene inserted Waluigi's penis in his tight, moistened asshole. Once the entire thing was in there, a little past the fracture point, he squeezed as hard as he can like someone who was squatting over the top of a mine and if they let a poop fall out of their damn but it would explode so they have to keep it in and are probably doing this for thrills because it takes a lot to excite them at this point in their life. Gene squeeze his anus around Waluigi's penis SO tight and started glowing like the sun and cool rock music played. He shouted "FRIENDSHIP HEALING" and the untoppable power of their friendship fused the penis back together as if nothing had happened.

Waluigi woke up and instatly understood what Gene did for him because he had read about Friendship Healing in the library. It was a power only really cool emojis could use (so no Nepal flag emojis sorry). They passiontely made out until Waluigi had an idea: he grabbed handfuls of the casserole and kept stuffing it up Gene's bruised, used up asshole until two thirds of it was inside him. Waluigi began eating Gene's ass out like a starved dog while Gene ate his smaller portion off of the floor. Waluigi's casserole was so zesty that he almost immediately had to shit after eating it fully out of Gene's ass, so he shat into Gene's mouth and Gene ate it up with excitement. Then Gene returned the favor moments later and they kept going back and forth all night long unitl the sun came up.

Sometime around eight in the morning they both fell asleep, cuddling and covered in blood and shit. It was a night to remember.


	3. Chapter 3: Toad's Fruity Sauce

AN: I'm getting a lot of hits recently, I'm glad you guys are interested. Feel free to leave a review or suggestions.

CHAPTER 3: Toad's Fruity Sauce (In Waluigi's Anus)

Waluigi and Gene were back at Toad's Fruity Sauce talking it up and employing their age old tactic of free loading. Gene was sitting in Waluigi's lap all sexy and shit and making everyone else in the cafe extremely uncomfortable turned on. They talked about expanding their operation and getting more friends for their super secret illegal sex dungeon.

"How-a bouta that plumber Mario? I've been tryna geta taste-a his spaghetti!" Waluigi rubbed his hands together and licked his lips.

"Yeah but what about Samus? She already has her own gimp suit and everything." Gene liked women more than men, which was super fucking gay.

"Ayy stop-a being a faggot and-a suck some dick! We needa a tight boy hole for my-a purple snake!" Waluigi barked, which excited Gene. His asshole puckered at his lover's sternness.

The two continued with their conversation until they were interrupted by the manager of Toad's Fruity Sauce himself: Toad, of course. "You two are scaring the FUCKING CuSomERs AWAY!" Toad's voice was shrill and painful on the ears. Waluigi thought it was cute though. "YOU COME IN HERE AND DO GAY SHIT ALL THE TIME AND YOU DON'T BATHE YA'LL SMELL LIKE SOME UNWASHED DICK!" He was correct, Waluigi did not wash his dick. Bathing is a Chinese hoax. Plus musky dick is sexy and let's all the boys know he's primed and ready.

Waluigi got up from his seat. Toad's small frame barely came up past Waluigi's thighs. The tall lanky man took out his long skinny rope penis and wrapped it arounf Toad's neck, squeezing it tightly. "HHHHHHHHHHHEUUGH" Toad turned purple and passed out. Gene hoisted him up over his shoulder and the two took him back to the van. They peeled out of the smoothie cafe and made a beeline for Waluigi's house, ignoring traffic laws.

Toad woke up in a daze, having no memory of what had happened to him. As his vision came into focus, he was able to make out two men staring at him, furiously masturbating.

"What the fuck?" The words barely escaped his lips before both men penetrated his tight asshole at the same time. "WOAAAAH!" Toad shouted in that really shrill annoying voice that he had in the Mario Bros. cartoons. Gene's dick was short, but so fat that it stretched Toad's asshole in ways never thought to be possible. Waluigi was like a noodle, skinny but he was stabbing Toad's guts. "Were-a gonna make your-a love tunnel into-a pastrami sandwich!" Waluigi said menacingly.

This went on for hours until Waluigi looked at Toad's phallic hat and said "I have an idea!" He bent over and stretched his asshole out to maximum capacity while Gene started to push Toad's fat mushroom shaped head as far into Waluigi's love tunnel as possible, blood and sweat their only lube.

"WAAAAAAH! PUSh-A HARDER!" Waluigi screamed out of pain enduced ecstacy as Gene strained to push further, summoning up all of his strength. He had not been in this state of body and mind since the Great Emoji War where his family died and stuff. Gene pushed like an old crusty Italian man who runs a deli pushing a thichk fat pillar of salami into a grinder that wasn't quite big enough to save time on food preparation, only it probably ended up taking more time than finding some other reasonable alternative would, but he just keeps pushing anyways and cursing in his native language. Once Toad was in so far that Waluigi's organs were getting closterphobic, Gene started to fuck Toad's already worn out hole. Toad was so far up Waluigi that it was like Waluigi put a fleshlight up his ass and Gene was fucking that instead. Gene watched Toad's tiny dick flop around like a pasta noddle on a rollercoaster.

Toad came almost instantly. "WOAAHAHAHAHH!" he screamed inside Waluigi's ass, thw vibrations causing Waluigi to orgasm. This made him squeeze his asshole. He squuezed so tight that Toad's head exploded inside of Waluigi' ass. Gene came so hard at the sight of this that his semen shot up past Toad's neck hole and into Waluigi. It looked like Waluigi had eaten a bunch of starberry jam with mushroom for some reason, except he had actually shoved a small mushroom person up his anal cavity. Gene tried to help Waluigi get all of Toad out of his ass by sucking it out, but some was still stuck in there and there wasn't much they could do.

"Now-a they won't bothera us anyamore at the smoothie cafe," Waluigi said "all-a the other Toad's are-a little bitches!"

He was correct.


	4. Chapter 4: Assault on Godzilla

CHAPTER 4: ASSAULT ON GODZILLA

Waluigi and Gene were speeding towards the chaos in their van. A hardcore expression was frozen on Waluigi's face as he dodged falling debris and small children (sort of). Gene licked the sweat from his companion's brow and put his meaty yellow hand on Waluigi's shoulder supportively. Waluigi were pushing past eight thousand RPM, the van's engine screaming in agony, but he didn't let up. He had a job to do.

"Waluigi, I'm scared." said Gene, foaming from the mouth a bit.

"GET-A YOUR HEAD OuTA YOURA OWN ASS!" Waluigi barked "WE WERE-A SENTA ON THISA MISSIOn BY-A GENERAL TOAD HIMASELF!" Waluigi's sternness excited Gene and his pp twitched.

The van was approaching the ramp made from fallen debris and the two braced themselves. "WAAAAAAAH!" Waluigi's screams drowned out Gene's. They were hurdling straight for Godzilla himself, into the eye of the hurricane. Gene and Waluigi jumped out of their van and carried out their attack plan. Waluigi unsheathed his long rope penis and used it to strangle Godzilla and make him gasp for air while Gene climbed into the monster's mouth. Gene started setting up his huge amp and electric guitar in Godzilla's skull next to his brain while Waluigi began making his way down to the beast's undercarriage. Gene powered his equipment by putting the power cables into his ass. He can do this because he is an emoji and used to live inside of a phone.

Gene grew long hair played a really cool and rad rock song (one that my parents wouldn't let me listen to) and did cool hair swirling motions. It was like putting Godzilla's brain into a blender or fucking it with a giant dick that's even bigger than Godzilla's big brain except Godzilla is still stupid and is not as smart as Gene or Waluigi, who are cooler. RIght when Gene got to the chorus, Waluigi was in position, in mid air under Godzilla's crotch region. Gene screamed the chrorus like a thousand agonizing cums or when you step on legos that have been in an oven, and as he did so Waluigi's said "Godzilla isa a little bitch!" and his penis caught on fire and burst into light, growing thousands of times its size and piercing Godzilla from the crotch all the way past the his brain and into outer space where it destroyed an alien civilization eventually, killing billions and causing a rad explosion that was visible from earth. Godzilla let out a final roar and exploded into gore and semen.

Gene and Waluigi high fived and played around in Godzilla's guts, feasting on his organs like ancient adrenaline filled tribal warriors. That's when the Mushroom Kingdom PD (MKPD) were called over two naked men on bathsalts at the car dealership. They were vandalizing and destroying one of those inflatable dancing nylon tube guy decorations with their penises and urinating on its remains. They were subdued and taken into custody, where Waluigi woke up the next day next to Gene, having absolutely no fucking idea of what had happened.

Waluigi and Gene went to court shortly after and their case was thrown out because the court needed to focus all their attention on this guy who pirated The Madea Movie, a much more serious crime. They both went home, made tacos, and played UNO.


	5. Chapter 5: George Costanza

CHAPTER 5: GEORGE COSTANZA

Waluigi was in his kitchen making casserole when the doorbell rang. His Craigslist ad must've come through for him! He opened the door to a short, balding fat man in glasses. He fumbled around and asked "Are-are you the one with the illegal expiremental hair growth tonic?" It was George Costanza. After having his toupee violently torn from his scalp and tossed out of a window, he was desperate. "Why-a of course! Cum on in!"

George sheepishly walked through the door. "Wh-what a... lovely house you have!" There were sandwiches nailed to the ceiling from Waluigi's last art project. There were olives held in place on top of the sandwiches by the nails, so I guess it was kind of clever or something. Something, something, commentary on war and the human condition or whatever. There was an unidentifyable rotting animal carcass near the corner of the room from where Gene was making jerky. Gene's system for making jerky was letting a dead animal rot in a hot, dry place in the house, inevitably atracting other wild animals that could also be trapped and made into jerky so it was actually smarter than it initially appeared to be. Gene was upstairs vaping and listening to Limp Bizkit while touching and rubbing on his penis because he is cool.

"So-a youa want the hair tonic?" Waluigi said "We'll-a have to blind fold you and-a apply it since it's so top secret and hasn't been approved by-a the FDA or the WHO yet."

"That's a little weird, but it's fine anything you need just get me some hair." George said.

"GENE! Our customer is here!" Gene came down the steps and joined Waluigi. "Do you think he'll get suspicious?" Gene asked. "It's not a lie of you believe it." Waluigi answered.

"This is Gene, my life partner." Waluigi said to George, pointing in his general direction. Gene was wearing a hot tight neon green leotard that firmly hugged his butocks. Gene saluted George with a little leg kick thing because he's really fucking gay.

George got seated in the salon chair and was blindfolded just as was foretold. He shuffled nervously in the chair, partly out of excitement to possibly have a full head of hair once again. Once George was in position, Gene and Waluigi looked at each other for a second, whipped their schlongs out and got to work cranking out that secret scalp sauce, letting out quick WAH's every so often. George sat confused in the chair, but Waluigi assured him that they were just in the process of setting up the tonic. Technically he wasn't lying.

Gene fingered his asshole a bit because it was the only way he could get off anymore, he was getting old and had a hard time still getting excited. The two serial masturbators locked hands and raised them up to the sky like victorious olympic atheletes crossing the finish line and saluting a cheering croud as both their magic mystery mayonnaise flowed out like water from a firetruck hose if saidtruck were full of semen instead of water.

"I-is it working?" George said, excitedly. "WAAAAH" Waluigi cried, waling in the cusp of orgasm as he painted his house as white as a wedding cake. George took the blindfold off, realized his deep homosexual drive upon seeing Waluigi's glorious schnitzel, and then they all spent the rest of the night ejaulating onto George's scalp.


End file.
